I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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