please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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