Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears