And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
21 Reasons You’ll Be Forever Alone
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between