There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!