Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice