this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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