Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest