May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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