textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
