The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
And then my night got REAL pukey
If I die, sorry about rent.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
