I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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