Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
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Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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