You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
