You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
