i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
