so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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