she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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