Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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