Need sex. Gaining weight.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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