Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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