Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize