Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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