not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
