You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
