He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
