Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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