Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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