Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
