i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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