all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
