I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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