HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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