I love black thongs
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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