I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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