I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
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The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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