I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
