1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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