So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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