CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Acid is not a monday night drug
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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