Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
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At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
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I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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