He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
