you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
