Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You are a genius and a whore.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
