She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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