i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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