hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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