We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
