Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
