PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
