sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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