I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
