Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
