we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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