And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
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