You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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