i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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