If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Randomize
