Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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