I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
