The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
