She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize