hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The power of my boobs compel you
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
