So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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