Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
