im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
