also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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