I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
