oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
