I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she told me i tasted like america
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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