I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
