absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
