Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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