I wish i was in the wii world.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
