your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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