even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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