Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize